Thursday, November 20, 2008

Election Day

"Who do I usually vote for, mum?" When election day gets close, the countdown is set on for another crucial choice: shall I vote for Mr X or shall I vote for Mrs Y?

Mum doesn't have to face such a dilemma. She used to when she was young, but these times are over now. Even before Mr X declared himself a candidate for the country's presidency, she knew she would give him her vote. Her ideas are engraved since one of Mr X's fellow campaigners assured her of a job and a flat in the city.

So 20-year old Dwaine has to turn to someone else. Most of his friends trust Mrs Y. They more exactly hate Mr X. "He's a cunning politician, they say. He changes sides every two weeks to fool the electors. But he won't fool us. Everyone knows he's a liberal son of a bitch and a far-right sympathizer." And then Dwayne and his friends light a joint in front of the University entrance and read out loud a satirical tract from a far-left fanzine.

But Dwaine is still not convinced. He's a natural-born citizen and he wants to get a larger picture. So he goes in the evening to Mrs Y's meeting and he listens to her speech. She says it's time for change, she says it's time for justice, she says the other side is bad. And Dwaine comes home with a resolution: "I will vote for Mrs Y."
But mum has turned the TV on. She's watching a talk-show. A fierce and intense debate between two political experts takes place, and new pieces of information he had not heard about before flow to his ears: unemployment, interest rates, savings, indebtedness of the State, security, ecology, foreign policy, nuclear energy... It gives him the hell of a headache. He's asking mum what she thinks of both of them, but she merely answers. "All I know is that the guy on the left can't talk properly, she says. He gets angry all the time and always interrupts the other."

But then Dwaine realizes the guy on the left is one of Mrs Y's supporters. And he says to himself: "if he can't talk properly and gets angry all the time, maybe it is because his opponent is too good for him. Maybe he has no argument." So he gives himself another day to make up his mind.

The next morning he goes to an off-licence, buys himself a couple of beers and two papers. He gets home and reads them. In the first one, there is an interview of Mr X. It says it's time for change, it says it's time for justice, it says the other side is bad. Dwaine wonders who was the first to come up with this key-statement, since both candidates claim ownership. So he goes on the Internet and starts his investigation. He gets 1,147 results for "it's time for change" and 1,254 results for "it's time for justice".
He surprisingly finds out that neither Mr X, nor Mrs Y have a monopoly on it. Hundreds of politicians, some of them dead for 40 decades, said exactly the same thing. Dwaine is completely lost. He drinks his two cans of beer and buys another 10. "In Vino veritas", his Latin teacher said.

The day of the election, Dwaine wakes up at 12 with a nasty hangover. He forgot about the election. He doesn't give a shit no more. But he's a citizen and he will do his duty. So he gets on the street and walks to the polling station. He's looking for a sign. A decisive event that will make him decide. At the market corner, a tall black guy asks him for a fag. He says he doesn't have one and he gets punched in the face. He's bleeding. He's humiliated. He runs to the polling station and puts his vote into the ballot box without a minute of hesitation. He voted for Mr X, whom he heard say the word "security" one time more than Mrs Y.

His job is done. His duty is performed. Now Dwaine can start thinking at last about something else.

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

just this one thing that popoed up in my head while i read your shit : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diphallia

Pierre Alexander said...

I think my next post will deal with Diphallia, then. Pretty scary picture for kids, though, but there is none around.

Anonymous said...

what about some real fetish for you, french lesbian lover then : http://stupidcelebrities.net/2008/08/05/conjoined-twins-abby-brittany-hensel-turn-16-video/

Pierre Alexander said...

but then the blog would have to be rated "adult content" and I don't want that to happen. I want people underage , underdeveloped and possibly under many other things to get free access and comment. Just like now.

Anonymous said...

Aha haha ha !

Anonymous said...

Ahahahah ha haa ah !!
I mean it

Gonzodoctor said...

peace fellow !
make up your mind anonymousman or shut up ! you are ridiculous
GD

GONZODOCTOR said...

pierre, I think that for each election at least 7o per cent of the citizens are lost !
So Dwain is a prototype.
Look at the socialist internal elections in France. everybody is lost
GD

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