If you're familiar with mineral water, then you might be familiar with Evian mineral water. And if you're familiar with Evian mineral water, you may be familiar with the fact that Evian mineral water got its name from French town Evian-les-Bains, where the water takes its source.
And if none of this is new to you, you certainly know that Evian-les-Bains is a thermal town where old rich folks suffering from rheumatisms and varicose veins and younger rich folks suffering from being too young and too rich get hydrotherapy treatments when springtime comes.
20 years ago, the deal was pretty simple. You came to Evian-les-Bains with your rheumatisms and dollars, they splashed water on you for a few days or weeks and you went back home feeling 15 years younger. Then you naturally came back to smoking and drinking and died of a heart-attack a few years later.
Now things have changed. They still take your dollars and splash water on you, they still make you feel younger, but they give you the choice between seven options, which they call "day packages":
- EVIAN DISCOVERY allows you to "savour relexation".
- EVIAN LIBERTY intends to "relax you and hydrate and tone your body".
- EVIAN ENERGIES procures "lasting relaxation and re-energising".
- EVIAN HYDOR ZEN makes you "recover well-being and serenity".
- EVIAN MINERAL makes you "feel so much better".
- EVIAN REBIRTH draws on "vital energy to restore balance".
- EVIAN SENSATIONS offers activities "full of heady excitement".
The white lady at the desk gave him the menu above, the old man read it and was a bit confused. He sure wanted to recover well-being and serenity as well as restoring his balance with the help of vital energies, but he above all wanted to be cured.
The white lady understood perfectly well and informed him about Shiatsu harmony massage, aimed at rebalancing the energetic flux for greater harmony between body and mind. She mentioned reflexology sessions, which by privileging your inner sensations made you aware of the present moment and freed your tensions. She was almost singing when boasting the virtues of Tai Ji quan, an energising corporal discipline which developed strength, suppleness, concentration and inner calm.
During all this chirruping, the old man had to stand as he wasn't offered a seat. He soon felt a weakness in his right leg and, as the freshly cleaned floor was a bit slippery, he fell on his head and broke his neck. By the time the ambulance came, he was dead. Dead at the gates of Heaven, listening to one of his angels chanting the Coming of the golden age of concept.