5 reasons why it sucks if you're 28 and still at university

reason one: you should have a job by then. The only reason you don't have a job is you don't seriously look for one. You prefer to read books, sit on your ass and listen to some teacher who has nothing left to teach you. Shame on you, you're extra-smart, useless and lazy.

reason two: there's nothing more depressing than the view of a young female student panicking before an exam, re-reading her notes till the last minute with a bottle of mineral water put on her exam table.

reason three: university is full of left-wing activists who have bad influence over the other students. Their poisonous preaching turns them away from the only noble goal in life: be smarter than the one next to you, earn more money, have a better job and screw better-looking chicks.

reason four: I don't have a reason four.

reason five: university overtime extends your youth. It delays the ageing process, which may cause the Stelzer syndrom: a permanent inability to fit to the English way of life (although it remains hard even for the scientists to find a proper explanation for this).