Saturday, January 24, 2009

Figures of today: the terrorist

The terrorist will be second on the "Figures of today" list. And why is that? Because he asked for it - quicker than the bank advisor, who will get the third spot.

The terrorist isn't really a new figure in our 21th century fucked-up world. But like the pop singer, he evolved from a shape to another in order to adapt to the new reality, proving once again Darwin right.

So what are the terrorist figures we used to have in mind a few decades back in time?

First, the Andreas Baader-type terrorist, that is the far-left anarchist angry with everything related to the concepts of capitalism, hierarchy, mass-consumption, money and authority, which basically is what our society is all about. Freedom is an illusion, we're all corrupted to the bare bone and so we must change or die. Die Rote Armee Fraktion murdered police officers and bank directors, bombed US military barracks, set department stores on fire etc...

Then, the IRA-like terrorist, fighting for a cause (leave Northern Ireland at once you bloody british pigs), against a well-identified ennemy (the british pigs) in the name of history (look at what they've done to us Irish), all of which resulted in pub-bombing and murders among other things.

Third, the free-lance terrorists, such as Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, who bombed an office complex in Oklahoma City for obscure motives. I would call this the serial killer profiled terrorist.

Post Scriptum 1: For all his sins, Andreas Baader must be relieved not to have made it to 2009, for he would have had to face this heartbreaking truth: the number of department stores, bank directors and US military barracks have tripled since he started erasing them. These things grow faster than grass and even global warming is powerless against it.

The modern terrorist is the islamist fundamentalist terrorist, whose international exporting brand name is Al Qaïda. What did he learn from the previous ones? Nothing, because he doesn't give a shit and probably hardly knows about Baader and co. Who can seriously blame him for that? Most young people in France must think that the "Bande à Baader" was or is a technopop band and older people have other more important things to do rather than bringing them contradiction.

Apart from that, there's nothing really new to say about the islamist terrorist. We all know he hates America, we all know he tracks down the infidels and we all know he considers himself as a martyred hero fighting a Holy War. What we don't know is why he doesn't get himself an ukrainian girl on xlove.com, buy milk and cornflakes for his breakfast and watch Dexter on ITV. Everybody would love him on this part of the world, and it would definitely help the bridge-building process between our great civilizations.

Post-scriptum 2: it seems that department stores, US military barracks, bank advisors and islamist terrorists have at least two things in common: they don't appeal to me and they grow faster than grass.

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8 comments:

lunaticg said...

Hi!
Everyone is a terrorist in other country?

Pierre Alexander said...

Hi! If your question means "are there terrorists only outside france?", the answer is: no, we had Action Directe (Baader type), ETA (IRA type) and Mesrine (free-lance type). If your question means something else, then i don't know what it means but my answer will still be: no

lovelyprism said...

I stumbled across your blog today and I like it very much, it's funny. I'm not sure it's supposed to be funny, but it made me laugh.

PhantomMan said...

Obama is the most dangerous thing brought to the United States in a lifetime. By the time he's done or gets thrown out, he'll make Carter look competent and Bush look like Thomas Jefferson.

Should we all have to suffer because of a dumbed down electorate and a lying pandering press that made this happen? Anyone with the least bit of common sense and love for this country should certainly want this hopeless, socialist dreamer to fail, and fail big. The biggest flaw in a democracy is that EVERYONE gets to vote, even the uneducated, the misguided, the lazy, the foolish, the dreamers and worst of all, the elitist socialists who helped elect this fraud.
And how about these Idiots in Obamas corner who can`t even vet people properly. How can any moron expect us to sign up for the biggest tax debt in the history of America and not vet the people in their cabinet. This BS with Daschle is where it has to stop. This guy was the head of the senate. He knew about the tax laws he created. And if he is too stupid to grasp the tax laws than he is too stupid to be the Health Care Czar. The true class envy here is these politicians don`t have to pay their taxes and we responsible people do. DASCHLE IS A TAX CHEAT. AND Obama said AFTER finding this out that he wanted to “Stand behind him”! Daschle should go to jail! Not be brought into the administration. And if it weren’t for the public’s outcry he would have been confirmed. I can't even stand to look at him, much less listen to his self-aggrandizing misplaced sentimental crap and his constant
din about how terrible America is/was/will be and his crap about the destruction of our nation and his "negative rights" ideology of our Constitution
DOWN WITH SOCIALISM and that means DOWN WITH OBAMA/PELOSI/REID/DODD/RANGEL/FRANK/ etc....Failure IS an option, and Barack O'Messiah MUST fail to save this country.
Most of President Obama's campaign promises and his actions since assuming the Presidency, it is apparent that as a Citizen of the World, he has made himself responsible for defanging America, for emasculating our nation and removing us as a threat to all of the murderous genocidal dictators in the world. I to hope he will fail in all of his endeavors, from bankrupting us with his abusive "stimulus" package to his appeasement of enemy regimes.
I'm with Rush.
Remember, Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism.

janice_phil said...

oh!!!! my answer will be yes!

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commoncents said...

Great blog! Keep up the excellent work!!

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The Prodigal Tourist said...

I agree with lovelyprism--I liked your take on terrorism, but not sure it was mean to be amusing!