Monday, October 27, 2008

A quick update on: France

A very old friend of mine who thought it was a nice idea to emigrate to Austria asked me recently how things were going in France. Now that Jörg Haider is dead and Wolfgang Priklopil (the guy who kept a schoolgirl in captivity for 10 years in his cellar) is in jail, he runs short of soulmates to share a nice Schnitzel with. So he thinks about going back. But he wants to know first if France is still a nice country to live in. I want to reassure him here. It definitely is.

Our president Sarkozy is fit and well. He still goes out in the morning to perform his jogging and doesn't need to wear his rollex wristwatch anylonger since he now has a Tissot. It's a slightly more expensive one but it reflects both the sun and the moon light.

Good old Dominique (Strauss-Kahn) faces an investigation for lifting the French flag high in the sky of the IMF: he fucked a female employee and allegedly gave her financial compensation for
making her come only four times in the night. France is still a lover's country.

Paris Saint-Germain football club beat Marseille in Marseille, which hadn't happened for over four years (when the shetland pony Ronaldinho was still playing for the club). On the website, Damien wrote: "c tro génial ptdr pari es magic benarfa dan ton cu" (translation: he's happy).

Angry demonstators of the Education Nationale marched to protest against the cuts in staff and the new training programs. They have done so since 1796 but for the first time in years, they took the shortcut of the rue Soufflot and got round the Saint-Michel cross lights.

Star Academy has resumed and there's no reason to think why it shouldn't continue in the next 50 decades. The number of retarded teenagers sobbing for emotion hasn't fallen down at all. In fact the French birth rate ranks second in Europe, just behind Ireland.

Johnny Halliday said he would end his touring career after next year. He's finally been caught back by age and shows desire to learn brand new skills: singing, writing, composing and playing the guitar.

The couscous restaurant next to my mother's place is still open. They eventually found where the dreadful smelling came from. They've simply forgotten to flush the toilets for the last 10 years.

Here you are, Xavier. I hope to meet you soon.

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Anonymous said...

Hey Peter!

It is kind from you to have dedicated your last text to me. I can definitely recognize your so special style of writing and it is always good to read your vision of the world...

Well, it seems that nothing has really changed in France and that I could come back without being disoriented!!! ;-) Good to know... I will think about it...

Thanks for the quick french overview and hope to see you soon too.

Bis bald und Liebe Grüße!


Pierre Alexander said...

Thank you mate. The world badly needs objective reviewers like you.

Anonymous said...

Xavier has just promoted your blog and invited me to read your article about his wanting to go back to France.
After reading your description of the latest events, I don't understand how Xavier could choose to stay in Austria...
Honestly, they don't have any of these in Vienna, do they ?

And as far as I'm concerned, I've experienced all this for quite long now and would enjoy discovering the peaceful Austrian life, one day, maybe...

Anonymous said...


I just realized there is a small mistake in your text... Wolfgang Priklopil is actually not in jail but he committed suicide, thinking it was better to leave with his secrets and of course permitting him to avoid justice! How would you call this kind of reaction? ;-)


Pierre Alexander said...

If you want to make me say that committing suicide after performing mass-murdering, illegal detention or torture is a typical Austrian thing, then I will say it: committing suicide after performing mass-murdering, illegal detention or torture is a typical Austrian thing.