Monday, October 27, 2008


I ask myself the question: is what I am about to do morally right? Probably not but it's worth trying. I'll have a go at denouncement. All People bear secrets, all people hide embarrassing truth from other people, all people are ashamed of things they did in the past. The people I know are no different. So to the attention of the Gestapo:

Carole from France: Stephane does really love you, there is no doubt about that. But he confessed to me once that he saw you as his own personal Hilary Clinton. That makes you a loser, for one thing. Besides, it may also mean that there is a Monica Legwinsky hiding under his desk at his daytime office. Have it checked and keep me informed. Don't forget to look in the cupboard.

Cyril from China: despite your turns and tricks and for all your verbal brilliance, I know for sure that you contracted HIV in Hong Kong. It's not fair not to tell Emilia about it even if you haven't had sex together for at least 3 years. It's a matter of transparency.

Edgar from France, India and Japan: your wedding was boring to death and everybody shares that view. Not because of the bride or you lovely parents, but because of the uptight inhibited yuppies that you keep inviting at every occasion. These guys should be kept in their Accenture building and wait for the next taliban plane to crash in.

Thomas from Poland: I'm still not convinced your wife isn't a complete bitch, but I trust you on your word. My memories of her go fading, plus she's apparently been faithful to you.

Laurent from France: I will never give your money back, forget about it.

In addition to all that, that's what there is to know: Samuel H. from London lacks fighting spirit, H.S. from Paris killed her cat with a butcher's knife, Sebastian S. from Mannheim will never write a book, Clotidle C. from Paris will never find a man, Xavier C. from Vienna isn't for real he's a plant and his blood is green, Andrew, Janet and Peter S. from Broadway are members of a sect and will cut their wrists to death on redemption day, Cynthia B. from Poitiers provides shelter for an illegal migrant, Mathieu M. from Paris enjoys his job what he says about it is just show off, Marvin from Waitrose masturbates in bed, Kara W. from Melbourne has never been to Kinshasa, Laurent's cat si Heinrich Himmler's reincarnation he tracks down jewish cats and collects their bones, my mother hates black people she just pretends not to.

I let you read between the lines and take notice of all that. If you have any piece of information to share about me and my private life, please feel free to post a comment. It will be deleted in less than 2 seconds.

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seb said...

matter of fact, i'm not from "mannheim", i am either from stuttgart, from konstanz, or straight out of heaven. This is where i write my enormously huge book bound in leather to last for eternity. Topic: The sins of pierre C., who lived with dope-smocking, homosexual, messy alcoholics for quite a while, just because it resembled rock n roll... (there is other stuff as well)
i boocked paris, fellow

Anonymous said...

What about Rémi D. ?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...


Pierre Alexander said...

Censorship has started. Someone said I had an artificial penis

seb said...

pierre has masturbated in front of the quakers computer which stands in the hallway while zhey were having dinner downstairs.